Over the past few months, I found myself becoming restless. Almost without fail during my morning walks, I would experience sadness like something important was missing in my life. I couldn’t pinpoint its source and I have been asking God to reveal the cause.

While listening to a recent episode in The Dallas Willard Podcast, he caught my attention when he said that many of us struggle with different issues because we live in dissatisfaction and disappointment. He then said one of the things that will help us grow into wholeness of life is to ask, “Am I living in disappointment and dissatisfaction?”

This then led me to an article Willard wrote where he made this startling statement:

“Those who experience moral failure are those who have failed to live a deeply satisfied life in Christ, almost without exception.”

A bit later in the article he wrote,:

“The surest guarantee against failure is to be so at peace and satisfied with God that when wrongdoing presents itself, it isn’t even interesting. That is how we stay out of temptation.”

The article brought to mind another Willard quote:

“If I am unable to believe that God has done well by me, I will not be able to love and trust him.”

Okay, I know I’m quoting Willard a lot, but this string of quotes communicates an astounding principle — dissatisfaction with God prevents me from wholly loving and trusting him and is the root cause of most, if not all, moral failure.

This provided a needed diagnosis of my restlessness and sadness. I’m still struggling with discontentment, disappointment and dissatisfaction with God in some details of my life.

From a high-altitude survey of my life, I can honestly say I’m satisfied with God. But when I start to ask more detailed questions, my dissatisfaction is exposed. So let me throw out some of the questions I’ve asked myself:

Am I truly satisfied with God in who I am — my personality and physicality, my talents and inadequacies, how I think and feel, how I relate to people?

Am I truly satisfied with God in my past — my memories, my family, my friends, my education, my traumas, my mistakes, my embarrassments, my accomplishments, my joys, my decisions, my actions, my life circumstances, regardless of whether they went well or poorly for me?

Am I truly satisfied with God in my present — my wife, my kids, my friends, my church, my job, my income, my health, my challenges, my fears, my dreams, my reputation, my influence, myself?

As I took this inventory, the majority of the answers were “Yes!” But some of the questions left a slight twinge. And it was in those places that I found the hidden dissatisfaction.

You see, in all of the above aspects and more, God is with us. We may be unaware of his presence and activity. We may even be rebelling or running away from him. But he has been intimately present through everything in our lives.

Until I am satisfied with God in the midst of everything and believe that God has treated me well in everything, I cannot wholly trust and love him. In my heart, I will be afraid he will fail me. Or the next challenge will overcome me. Or the next loss will crush me.

Let’s be frank. We know life doesn’t always go in our favor. That’s an understatement, right? If I’m dissatisfied and disappointed with God because I didn’t get what I wanted, then I’m compelled to manipulate events and people so that outcomes turn in my favor.

We see it in small things. We speed up on the freeway to block a car signaling to move into our lane. We pad our resume so we have a better chance of getting the job we want. We tell a story so we look more humorous, competent, or insightful than what actually happened. We spend beyond our means to purchase something that gives us a sense of importance, credibility, or status.

And we see it in larger things. We regularly spend more time in the office, neglecting our family and health so we get the commission or promotion. We flirt with a co-worker because we feel more attractive and excited. We gossip about a mutual friend to make ourselves feel superior or vindicated. We rely on our indulgences and addictions to mask, numb, or escape our pain and fears.

And that dissatisfaction will ruin us from the inside-out. It leads to anger, resentment, slander, hatred, greed, lust, indulgence, mistrust, fear, selfish ambition, conceit, addictions, and many, many more destructive attitudes and behaviors.

On the other hand, satisfaction with God leads to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, compassion, hope, gratitude, loyalty, forgiveness, humility, and trust.

So how do we learn satisfaction with God in the midst of a life riddled with pain, crisis, stress, injury, loss, and tragedy? It’s built on a foundational truth: Our well-being, now and in the future, is solely in God and not determined by external circumstances.

This goes contrary to how our culture has formed us to think and feel. We must relearn that our well-being is not determined by our looks, health, income, possessions, relationships, jobs, retirement plan, intelligence, skills, or in any outcomes. Rather, our well-being is determined by the God who easily created and sustains this universe, who created you in sheer goodness and joy, who is passionately and deeply in love with you, and who has a magnificent destiny in store for you.

So how do we start building this foundational truth into our thoughts and feelings? Okay, here’s another Dallas Willard quote that provides us with some necessary direction:

“You must arrange your days so that you are experiencing deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your every day life with God.”

We must intentionally build daily routines so we experience contentment, joy and confidence every day with God. Obviously, this will be different for each person. But I can guarantee our current face-in-our-phones, get-what-I-want, overwork, overplay, overspend, and collapse-from-exhaustion lifestyles need to change.

This is why Jesus’ invitation to become his apprentice is the best news any of us could receive, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

As his apprentices, we embrace his unhurried and relaxed lifestyle and we adopt practices that change our thoughts, feelings and habits. Here’s one  example. Paul writes in 1Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Imagine your daily routine gently shaped around the constant attitudes and activities of joy, prayer and thanksgiving. Imagine the first thing in your mind and out of your mouth each morning is a prayer of joy and gratitude for the new day. Imagine starting your morning reflecting on God’s goodness instead of looking at the news or social media feeds on your phone. Imagine praying for the peace of those around you as you drive peacefully and patiently to work. Imagine thanking God for the meeting you’re about to enter and surrendering any and all outcomes to him. Imagine joyfully praying for each person that walks by or through your office door. Imagine a quiet and prayerful lunch where you talk with God about family and friends. Imagine a quiet evening walking around your neighborhood, enjoying the beauty of creation rather than binging another season of the latest show. Imagine joyfully reflecting on the activities of the day, even those moments that didn’t go your way. Imagine going to bed a little early and praying reflectively through the Lord’s Prayer or Psalm 23 as you drift to sleep.

The point of this exercise in imagination is to stoke a vision of a joyfully interactive life with God that funds a deep and constant satisfaction with God in any and all circumstances.

“You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water,
I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.”
Psalm 63:1-5

Fully satisfied with God.