Early in my apprenticeship to Jesus, I learned a valuable lesson the hard way. I learned that there is no room for heroic effort in spiritual formation.

For most of my early life, until I graduated from high school, I was a competitive long distance swimmer. (You couldn’t tell by looking at me now. But it’s true.) So I knew that working hard would lead to success. On top of that, I was a type-A personality. So I believed that if working hard meant success, then working even harder meant greater success. I arrogantly applied that perspective when I started learning about spiritual formation. As I adopted spiritual disciplines into my life, I believed the greater volume and intensity of spiritual disciplines meant greater transformation into Christ’s likeness.

Boy, was I wrong. Really wrong. Spiritual formation does not work that way.

In my zeal, I did more damage to myself and others than any good. I practiced a fairly intense regiment of spiritual disciplines. I would then measure my spirituality by how well I performed them. This fostered pride. I also tried to convince others to practice spiritual disciplines and judged them if they didn’t. Guess what. That’s being a Pharisee!

In my attempts to become like Jesus, I became a successful Pharisee!

Lord, forgive me.

While my effort is essential in spiritual formation, I am not in control of my transformation. Only God is. My transformation is solely in his hands. My effort in this collaborative endeavor is to gently and routinely open the moments of my ordinary daily life to God’s presence so I am aware of him, interact with him, surrender to him, and become more satisfied with him. And I’m doing this under Jesus’ coaching as his apprentice.

Sometimes we are inspired by other Christians, either historical or contemporary. And rightly so. We read about how they followed Jesus and want to emulate their spiritual practices. If they prayed for hours, we try to pray for hours. If they fasted for days, we try to fast for days. If they read through the Bible twice a year, we try to read it twice a year. We fall into a subtle trap believing we’ll become like them if we do what they did. But many times, what they did is currently out of our reach.

As I mentioned above, I used to be a competitive swimmer. At the peak of my athleticism in high school, my average workout was three hours, twice a day, seven days a week. I also ran and lifted weights. During our workouts, our coach would give us sets that stretched and increased our capacity.

If my friend decided he wanted to become a swimmer and tried to adopt my level of training, he would immediately fail. And most likely he would give up thinking he could never become a swimmer. My friend needs the essence of my training, not my actual training regiment. He needs the essence of my training applied to his level of expertise and ability. As a beginner, he would need to get used to regular workouts and just learn to swim several laps. Nothing heroic. He needs to train at his current ability and skill with intention and wisdom. His coach would provide the proper level of training and then assess and increase the regiment as his ability and skill grew.

That’s how apprenticeship to Jesus works. If he calls us to fast, he doesn’t expect us to engage in a forty-day fast like he did. Especially, if we’re beginning. Maybe it’s just fasting between breakfast and dinner so you become accustomed to seeking God’s kingdom and learning how to feast on God while you fast from food.

If he calls you to memorize Scripture, he doesn’t expect you to start with a large portion of Scripture. Maybe it’s just memorizing one verse like Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” He may have you recite and reflect on the verse through the day. Then he might have you slowly memorize other portions of Colossians 3:1-17, so over time you’ll have the whole passage memorized. But more importantly, you’ve learned how to reflect and pray on Scripture and interact with him through the memorized words. And frankly, even if you don’t have the passage perfectly memorized, it’s more about internalizing Scripture so it’s gently forming you throughout the day.

I need to say it again because it is such a subtle trap. You are not in charge of your transformation. God is. There is no direct correlation between the intensity and volume of spiritual disciplines and the amount of your transformation. Greater effort does not directly translate into greater transformation or greater character. There is no room for heroic effort, because it will actually work in the opposite direction than what you intended. 

A key sign that you’ve fallen into this trap is when you become proud of your regiment and start viewing spiritual success and failure by your performance of your spiritual regiment. That is a sure indication that you are heading in the wrong direction. 

Remember, Jesus called you to be an apprentice not a hero.