A young boy went to Sunday school, where he was voted “Most Humble.” He was awarded with a large badge displaying those words and the Sunday school teacher pinned it to his shirt. The next Sunday, the boy returned to Sunday school proudly wearing his awarded badge. The Sunday school teacher promptly took it away from him.

I have to thank my friend, Roger, for that funny anecdote. Recently, a group of my friends discussed humility. A lot of good and challenging things were shared, causing many thoughts to whirl about in my mind. What is humility? How do we develop humility? And, ultimately, why?

We know “God opposes the proud and gives grace to humble.” So humility is obviously important to God and to our flourishing as humans and as his image-bearers in his world.

So let’s start with Jesus. In a previous post on humility, I mentioned Dane Ortlund’s observation that there is only one place in the gospels where Jesus describes his own heart:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 
Matthew 11:28-30

This intimate self-description accompanies an invitation to become Jesus’ apprentices so we can learn to live our lives in God’s kingdom. By learning to adopt his lifestyle and practices, we learn to have our hearts shaped into Jesus’ gentle and humble heart so we can become like him and live our lives as if he were living in our place.

Jesus’ heart is gentle and humble. Interestingly, a pairing of similar Greek words occurs in two other places in Paul’s letters.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love,which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Colossians 3:12-14

Here they appear in a cluster of virtues with which Jesus’ apprentices are expected to clothe themselves. These others-centered virtues are Jesus’ natural posture toward us and can become a natural part of who we are.

Humility and gentleness appear together in another passage:

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:1-2

In this case, humility and gentleness are part of the others-centered calling we’re expected to live as Jesus’ apprentices. Similar to Colossians 3, humility and gentleness are clustered with patience and love.

In Galatians 5, Paul lists some of the Holy Spirit’s fruit that should be growing in our lives as Jesus’ apprentices. He includes, gentleness, patience and love. While not explicitly listing humility, we know this list is not exhaustive and Paul has included humility in other clusters of virtues as seen above. So I think we can safely assume humility would be another aspect of the Spirit’s fruit.

In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul describes the practical expression of humility:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4

This quick survey is to show that humility is core to who Jesus is, and therefore core to who he wants us to become as his apprentices. Humility, along with the other others-centered virtues of the Spirit’s fruit of divine love, is something we can learn from Jesus so that it becomes second nature to us. As our hearts are transformed into humble hearts like Jesus, we are able to routinely and easily value others and their best interest above our own, just as God does.

So how do we develop humility. Like all the other virtues that form Jesus’ character, it’s not something that is magically bestowed upon us. Nor is it something we can squeeze out of ourselves. Like every aspect of our apprenticeship with Jesus, it’s developed through a synergistic, interactive, and dependent relationship with Jesus in the moments of our daily lives.

Our daily lives present many opportunities to train with Jesus into humility. Sometimes these opportunities may be painful. The psalmist writes of this experience:

It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.
Psalm 119:71

The Hebrew word for “afflicted” is translated in some Bibles as “humbled.” So it’s good for us to be humbled through painful moments of affliction or suffering, if we don’t resist them in pride and learn God’s instruction. Think about those humbling and even humiliating opportunities that we face. Making a mistake. Being called out by our boss. Being corrected by our spouse. Being misunderstood by a friend. Dealing with a sickness. Enduring a financial loss. Having our reputation discredited. 

But there are also many other gentler opportunities throughout our day to form humility. Holding a door open for someone. Letting another driver into our lane ahead of us. Letting someone go ahead of us in a crowded line. Listening to our child when we feel we have more important matters. Thanking our barista by their name when we buy our morning coffee. Listening to someone without thinking about what we will say next. Not having to correct someone or have the last word. Taking care of chores or tasks for our spouse without being asked and without fanfare.

Notice these opportunities value other people above ourselves. By lovingly putting other people first throughout our day, Jesus can use those opportunities to form habits and transform our heart.

These opportunities fit within three general practices that Dallas Willard says help develop humility

Don’t pretend. Be realistic about yourself. Only with the help of God can you make your life work. You are an apprentice to Jesus who is learning to live completely in God’s hands. Be content with that. Don’t pretend to be anything else. Don’t self-promote. 

Don’t presume. Willard says we are “to be who you are where you are.” Let go of assumptions and expectation about how you should be treated. Don’t grasp for recognition.

Don’t push. Willard states that you “should stand for what is right, stand for who you are, stand for God. But let him do the pushing.” Learn to wait for God’s timing. Don’t push your agenda. Don’t try to bring about change. And remember that all outcomes are God’s responsibility, not yours.

All three of these general practices, like the many daily opportunities, can be used by Jesus to train us to value others above ourselves and develop the virtue of humility.

Humility is part of the ethos of God’s upside-down others-centered kingdom where the greatest commandment is to love God and love others. Our King Jesus is humble in heart and can train us to be like him. And we need to become like him so that life in his kingdom is easy and natural for the glory of God and the good of others.