This week, a friend and I had a great conversation over coffee. We started discussing humility and loosely defined it as “getting out of your own way, “to which one of us said “that’s a tough one.“ I find that to be an extreme understatement.

I frankly don’t know how to do that. I don’t know what it’s like for others, but I cannot stop thinking about myself. Even at my best, I’m still thinking about myself. How can I live for Jesus better? How can I become more like him? Even when I’m trying to think about others, I’m thinking about myself. What can I say to them to help? How can I care for them? How can I treat them better?

I am always in the picture. It’s like I’m always looking in a mirror and the person I want to focus one — whether Jesus or another person — is standing behind me. My reflection keeps obscuring my view of them. I can’t get out of my own way. Even when I try not to think about myself I’m thinking about how not to think about myself.

Surely, there are times we should be thinking about ourselves. Sometimes, we need to think through aspects of our lives to determine if they are in alignment with Jesus’s life. At that point, I need to look closely at my reflection in the mirror. But then there are times when I need to stop thinking about myself and be fully focused on the other. But I keep getting in my own way. 

How do we do that? I honestly don’t know. This is one I need to think about. Or not?